Highlight: Rita Golden Gelman
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Judy Wolf
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by Judy Wolf
Pretend it’s 1985 and you’ve been a stay-at-home mom and part-time children’s book author -- what do you do when your husband of 25 years tells you he wants a divorce? You don’t earn enough to keep up your Los Angeles lifestyle -- or even rent an apartment -- on your own.
Well, you could spend years being bitter and angry, fighting in court over alimony. You could find a job that wasn’t perfect but would pay the rent. You could move in with your grown children. Or, if you’re Rita Golden Gelman, you could invest the proceeds from your half of the house, sell everything else you own, take off with nothing more than you can carry on your back, and travel to countries you’ve always wanted to visit but never had the chance to see. “There is more than one way to do life,” writes Gelman, “and I was going to discover one that worked for me.”
Eighteen years later, she’s still traveling. She’s lived in Mexico, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Israel, the Galapagos Islands, Indonesia, New Zealand, and Thailand. When I spoke with her, she was on her way to India to work collectively with kids living in a slum in Delhi on creating a new children’s book together based on their experiences.
Luckily for us adult readers, this children’s book author took a couple years out to record her story in Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World. As much a guide to a fascinating alternative way of life as it is a travel memoir, this book is engagingly written, with insights into the author’s psyche and the many colorful characters with whom she connects along the way. Perhaps not surprisingly, it has attracted positive reviews and a strong female audience, many of whom keep tabs on Gelman’s progress through her online journal updates.
After reading a book like Female Nomad, you may be inspired to follow your own dream. Perhaps, like many people, you then instantly come up with excuses and road blocks and reasons why it’s not possible. If this is the case, try this simple mantra from Gelman herself: “Stop thinking, just do it.”
“If you think too much, you can always come up with reasons why not,” says Gelman. She also mentions that you may be under the impression that you’re all alone in feeling the yearnings that you do. “I get letters from people who’ve read the book and tell me they thought they were the only person in the world who felt that way. So many people write to me every day saying exactly that -- I get twenty letters in a row with the same statement.”
While Gelman herself declares that she’s constitutionally inclined to trust people and be available to serendipity, she’s spent the past two years talking with people who may have the urge to fly, but carry a bit more fear with them when contemplating the actual takeoff. What’s her advice to them? “Trust is risk. It requires stepping out of your comfort zone. It isn’t all that hard -- there are baby steps. One of my favorite e-mails came from a woman in San Francisco. She read Female Nomad, closed the book, and walked across the street to introduce herself to the Vietnamese neighbors who had been living there for three years. That was a tiny risk, but it enriched her life.”
Where can you start reaching out if you want to travel? Gelman recommends Servas. Founded in 1949, this international organization of 14,000 hosts in over 130 countries on 6 continents welcomes travelers interested in participating in the daily life of the places they visit. Hosts and travelers share a mutual dedication to promoting understanding, tolerance, and world peace. “Servas is not a big risk,” says Gelman. “In fact, it’s practically risk-free, because everyone is screened.”
But what if that still feels too big? Try starting smaller and working your way up. Gelman says that most often the biggest challenge people face is “stepping into the unknown. I think people are really scared to step outside of their normal patterns.” She recommends getting used to this sensation in safe ways -- for instance, “brush your teeth with your left hand if you’re right-handed. Go for a motorcycle ride. Go outside without a bra on. Sing as loud as you can in your car. Take a different route to the supermarket, and while you’re there, buy something you’ve never bought before and have no idea what to do with. These sorts of experiences lead you to the feelings you have when you do something naughty, something interesting and different.”
Her favorite suggestion for cultivating this feeling? Clown school. Gelman recently attended Mooseburger Clown Camp and will be taking her fake noses and magic bag with her to India.
Do you have an interesting story to tell? Or know of an adventurous or inspiring tale lived by someone else? Let me know!
Copyright (c) 2002 Judy Wolf
About
the Author:
Judy Wolf (www.judywolf.com)
is a world traveler, freelance writer, speaker, and whitewater kayak instructor.
She's taken numerous, extended solo journeys around the world, traveling by
foot, bus, jeep, camel, truck, boat, train, plane, elephant, and bicycle to
over 30 countries on five continents. She currently lives in upstate New York
with her husband and border collie, where she's working on a book-length travel
narrative about her most recent adventures…that is, when she's not plunging
off waterfalls or entertaining the dog.
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